Failing Female

Well Hi.

My name is Effi (yes, like off off skins) and welcome to Femme Face. I’ve been blogging here since last February and I love it. It’s a blog about pretty girly things that I like, or things that inspire me, or just stuff that makes being a girl a little easier. And there’s a bit of sex talk thrown in too.

I’m a twenty three year old redhead living in the big city of London being typically British a lot of the time by making small talk about the weather and complaining about the delays on the tube. I have cat Crayon and I’m originally from a small hut in a small village in Wales surrounded by sheep and Farmer’s sons. I like to pretend I’m a lot cooler than I am but really a perfect night for me is getting a fish and chips takeaway,  watching Grey’s Anatomy in my spotty pyjamas and plaiting my hair. 

I wear polka dots more than any human should and red lipstick a lot of the time because it pulls the focus away from the freckles smothering my face. When I’m writing I eat chocolate buttons and palma violet sweets and I’m obsessed with the colour teal. 

Well Work Stuff

I’ve wanted to be a writer since my mother started making up stories for me to calm my  temper as a child. I do freelance writing bits, another task I get to do in my pyjamas. I’m very involved with my blog and spend a lot of time staring it at it willing it to do things. Friday Sex talk is the biggest UK lesbian sex column and I also put on classes to talk to women about them at the famous London sex store Sh!.  I also have a little shop with my greeting cards and posters that you can see here soon.
I run the company MissFit with my best friend and flatmate Sandra D where we put on things for women. We have a little office in our flat and constantly bicker over who’s turn it is to wash up and which way around the toilet roll should go. There are the clubs, in East and in Soho, and we are putting on a prom in March because we like to dress up pretty and dance the night away with tequila and glitter. We love vintage things and we have a fayre happening early next year and lots of other girly shit planned. 

Women and writing are my passion and I think I’ve done well to build a career that incorperates these two things.And tequila. And unicorns. I have written two novels, one based in Yorkshire and one in London and I do very much hope that I can get them published some day. And that people will walk into book shops and see my little novels on the shelf and pay shiny pounds to read them.And I hope the people that the books are based on never read them because they will get very mad. 

Well, the Favourites

I love reading and have quite an extensive collection of books much to the annoyance of who I live with who regularly trip over piles of them when walking through the flat.  My favourite authors areJodi Picoult, Freya North and David Nicholls and I will never forgive Anne Hathaway for ruining the Yorkshire accent in the One Day film.  

I adore Topshop and H&M and will often have to hide emails from myself so i don’t accidentally spend five hundred pounds on dresses and fluffy jumpers and pastel nail varnish. I also like anything that has owls on it and that includes a really inconvenient door stop in my hallway that doesn’t hold any doors open and we constantly fall over it.

My favorite makeup brand is Dainty Doll because I know that whatever product I buy, it will look decent on my skin rather than any other brand where porcelain still looks orange. In my opinion, it should go Ivory, Porcelain, Casper. I wear Britney Spears perfume because it’s sweet and the bottles look nice on my dressing table and I use Lush and body shop products as much as I can in the day because the smells are so good they make me slightly orgasm.

Well, Other Stuff

Nope, think that’s everything. I do wish I was more interesting I promise you. No wait, I’m Welsh Ginger Lesbian who thinks unicorns are real. I think I’m good.

Any questions might have been answered in the FAQs. The unicorns say hi.

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32 thoughts on “Failing Female

    willrunforfoodandbeer said:
    April 9, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    You’re just adorbs. Added you to my blogroll if that’s cool :)

      effimai responded:
      April 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm

      ahh thank you so much :) sweet. E x

    Lacey said:
    April 11, 2012 at 12:41 am

    Scared of fireworks and storms. So cute. Just promoting you on the twitter now! :D

      effimai responded:
      April 11, 2012 at 12:45 am

      why thank you :)

    Kat said:
    April 11, 2012 at 1:10 am

    I lived in Wales for one school year. One of the best times of my life.

      effimai responded:
      April 11, 2012 at 1:36 am

      Ah cool where? :)

        Kat said:
        April 11, 2012 at 1:47 am

        Lampeter. Looking forward to getting back to show my family around.

          effimai responded:
          April 11, 2012 at 1:49 am

          ah quite far from me. Aces :)

    dodoa64 said:
    April 11, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Effi Mai
    Thanks for liking my blog/story excerpts. The encouragement is appreciated.

      effimai responded:
      April 11, 2012 at 2:44 pm

      They’re good :) Your very welcome x

        Toni Trevis said:
        June 4, 2012 at 11:39 am

        Oi oi

    Briony Welch said:
    April 16, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    I saw you in Liverpool last night – I think?! You’re Gorgeous <3

    Nadine said:
    April 18, 2012 at 5:25 am

    This is such a good blog :) Love it!!

    Kate said:
    April 18, 2012 at 5:40 am

    Keep writing, this is so funny. These are the highlight of my morning. Work now. Gross.

    Rach said:
    April 18, 2012 at 7:12 am

    I love this blog! You’re really good at what you do x

    Lea said:
    April 19, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    When did you add that question about the lesbian? what a weirdo! Good blog x

    paula said:
    April 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    You’re scared of firework! Lol. So cute. Blog is amazing :-)

    Naimh said:
    April 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Ah you’re so cute so you are :-)

    MMAg said:
    April 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    I’m actually in love with this blog.

    Dara said:
    April 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    What do you normaly wear? I love street fashion-type-things :-)

    dodoa64 said:
    April 27, 2012 at 12:18 am

    Effi Mai
    Blessed with friends and a great blog. I would love to say I am not jealous…………but

    Katie said:
    May 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    You’re a very talented writer.x

    Toni Trevis said:
    June 4, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Ffion when where is my survey and pik huh huh?? Lol xx

      effimai responded:
      June 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

      My god give me a chance I’m only just home! :P

    Lucy said:
    June 10, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    You’e writing is so good. You will be very successful one day I can tell x

    Anna said:
    July 16, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Oh my god sorry i was such a geek when I met you in Lfest!! Haha.

    Belle said:
    July 16, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    unexpected to run into you at Lfest. . . . . ;)

    ohcrp said:
    September 2, 2013 at 4:13 am

    You are fucking hilarious! Saying hi from MNL. :)

    Marneymae said:
    December 6, 2013 at 1:26 am

    hello & thank you for visiting my blog!
    you are funny!
    looking forward to reading/seeing more of your writing/speaking.
    wishing you all good things
    (hooray for unicorns!!!)

    dykestarr said:
    March 1, 2014 at 4:01 am

    Oh my gosh I simply love you. That’s pretty much it! I’m a blogger as well & just started a lesbian blog (my other- more successful blog- is on mental health issues). Thank you for sharing your work & I look forward to reading your upcoming wisdom :)

    diirrty said:
    March 13, 2014 at 8:29 am

    i’m not ginger, or a lesbian, but i like your blog. it’s cool.

    Bronwen said:
    March 23, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    Read your blog and must say you’re hilarious. As well as a great writer and a beaut ginger.
    Definitely got a fan here :)
    H x

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