Not one to rehash old sex talks but every week this comes up in my email box. If I talk about sex so much, how important do I think it is?
How important is sex in a relationship?
It’s what British people are known for not talking about and the lesbians that I know are known for talking about it too much. You do not need to hear one of your friends say ‘I came all over the thing.’ Ever. And certainly not while you’re in a public cafe. And eating yoghurt.
But how important is sex in a relationship? The lesbian-bed-death saying is such a well known saying that some women should just have it stamped on to their I’m frowning-a-lot-because-I-haven’t-done-it-in-months faces. It’s like as a relationship leaves the golden fuzzy honeymoon stage and moves into the reality-has-to-come first falling-in-love bit, the sex goes further and further down the priorities list.
But people do have busy lives now. Say one of you is a club owner finishing work in the early hours, just when your lawyer girlfriend is getting up to start her day. When are you supposed to fit in the you’re-so-hot-lets-do-it-right-here love making? I remember being slightly frustrated after not doing it with a girlfriend after three weeks. If in the last sentence you replace the word ‘slightly’ with ‘very,’ And, well, the word ‘weeks,’ with ‘days’.
But one couple I know surprised me when I asked saying that they rarely do it. That they find intimacy in other things like talking or holding hands. Now this is a couple that is so close that they actually do the terrible cliché things like finish off each other’s sentences and it’s very odd to see one of them without the other. Like they’re attached with some invisible lovey-dovey dyke string. It’s seeing-a-face-in-the-window-scary how close they are. And yet they’re not having sex.
Surely you need it. And I’m not talking about the mens-excuse-for-it benefits like your ‘health’ or whatever I’m talking about actually needing it. After a while surely you’re climbing the walls, tearing your hair out and buying all sorts of battery-operated-vibrating- moving things. And surely it’s an emotional way for you to connect with a partner. And as I keep getting told, a relationship is the way to get sex all the time without the hassle. Otherwise isn’t it a bit eating-raw-food-then-having-a-pizza-afterwards pointless?
Even if you say you can last without it. I think it’s a primal need for women to have it. And I’m sure a relationship is a lot stronger with it. That’s my humble-I-am-so-single opinion anyway. I’m sure that whatever relationship you’re in you’re probably getting way more sex than us single ladies. To be honest I don’t even miss it that much.
And to be more honest, I’m going to finish there as I need to go buy more batteries.