Friday Sex Talk

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Not one to rehash old sex talks but every week this comes up in my email box. If I talk about sex so much, how important do I think it is?

How important is sex in a relationship?

It’s what British people are known for not talking about and the lesbians that I know are known for talking about it too much. You do not need to hear one of your friends say ‘I came all over the thing.’ Ever. And certainly not while you’re in a public cafe. And eating yoghurt.

But how important is sex in a relationship? The lesbian-bed-death saying is such a well known saying that some women should just have it stamped on to their I’m frowning-a-lot-because-I-haven’t-done-it-in-months faces. It’s like as a relationship leaves the golden fuzzy honeymoon stage and moves into the reality-has-to-come first falling-in-love bit, the sex goes further and further down the priorities list.

But people do have busy lives now. Say one of you is a club owner finishing work in the early hours, just when your lawyer girlfriend is getting up to start her day. When are you supposed to fit in the you’re-so-hot-lets-do-it-right-here love making? I remember being slightly frustrated after not doing it with a girlfriend after three weeks. If in the last sentence you replace the word ‘slightly’ with ‘very,’ And, well, the word ‘weeks,’ with ‘days’.

But one couple I know surprised me when I asked saying that they rarely do it. That they find intimacy in other things like talking or holding hands. Now this is a couple that is so close that they actually do the terrible cliché things like finish off each other’s sentences and it’s very odd to see one of them without the other. Like they’re attached with some invisible lovey-dovey dyke string. It’s seeing-a-face-in-the-window-scary how close they are. And yet they’re not having sex.

Surely you need it. And I’m not talking about the mens-excuse-for-it benefits like your ‘health’ or whatever I’m talking about actually needing it. After a while surely you’re climbing the walls, tearing your hair out and buying all sorts of battery-operated-vibrating- moving things. And surely it’s an emotional way for you to connect with a partner. And as I keep getting told, a relationship is the way to get sex all the time without the hassle. Otherwise isn’t it a bit eating-raw-food-then-having-a-pizza-afterwards pointless?

Even if you say you can last without it. I think it’s a primal need for women to have it. And I’m sure a relationship is a lot stronger with it. That’s my humble-I-am-so-single opinion anyway. I’m sure that whatever relationship you’re in you’re probably getting way more sex than us single ladies. To be honest I don’t even miss it that much.
And to be more honest, I’m going to finish there as I need to go buy more batteries.

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16 thoughts on “Friday Sex Talk

    Lea said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    I think sex is realyl important in a relationship. I realy do think it brings you closer together. Good piece x

    Wendy said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Just found this blog, it’s excellent. Keep it going xx

    Chrissy said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    You do not need to hear one of your friends say ‘I came all over the thing.’ Ever. And certainly not while you’re in a public cafe. And eating yoghurt. HAAAA this made me laugh so much! I love this blog! x

      Jenny F said:
      April 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

      I know I thought this bit was awesome too!!

    Jack said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    Oh this is hilarious!

    natasiarose said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Haha. Nooo I think single people have a lot more sex! Gay or str8. Or maybe the grass is just always greener…

    Jenny F said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Getting the batteries. Hahaha you really make me giggle!! JF x

    G :-) x said:
    April 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    This is realy funny..yet slightly depressing.. :-P

    JULIE said:
    April 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Is single sex better than relationship sex, that should be your next post! Because single sex can be v.awkward sometimes. Good post, this is your dirtiest one by far!

    Alex said:
    April 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    This is so good. And so true!!

    Ellen Harry said:
    April 21, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    I think it depends on the relationship to whether it matters or not. This is so funny tho! The vibrating moving things! Lol x

    Jenny Blackwell said:
    April 24, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Women need sex for sure! Me and the wife are not shy about it and we’ve been together six years x

    polly jones said:
    April 26, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Sex is important! That is all :D but ew at the yoghurt comment…

    Izzie said:
    July 25, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Hahahahahahaah

    Jenni Thompson (@CircleThinker) said:
    September 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    I definitely think it’s important in a relationship if you have a sexual relationship-I know a couple where one is Asexual and the other one isn’t and they obviously don’t have sex but are still pretty inseparable/close to one another. I think it depends on the people within the relationship-certainly for me I think it’s an important thing because not only does it bring you closer together as a couple it’s a great confidence boost to know that you have the ability to turn someone on to the point where they have to have you right here, right now. As I had been regularly getting it for about 5 years it was a bit of a shock to notice how much I missed it when I became single in April! I’ve (thankfully) calmed down a bit now, but I’ve definitely been at the ‘climbing the walls, tearing your hair out and buying all sorts of battery-operated-vibrating- moving things’ stage, and got a good mocking from my friends for it. Le sigh. I mostly miss the easy intimacy you can only have with someone when you’ve been in a long term relationship, the just being naked around someone and it being completely not awkward at all.

    TL;DR YES. It’s important. And I am likely to be the speaker in the cafe far too often…

    P.S Love the blog! =)

      effimai responded:
      September 13, 2012 at 4:27 pm

      Thank you very much! And for the comment :) It is a big deal to me, I think its important thats why I was quite shocked when people said they were fine without it. I hope your friends are not mocking you and then going home to have passionate sex themsellves! E xx

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