Friday Sex Talk

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Reasons we have sex (– part Two)

And a bit about Snow since it’s actually snowing in Britain Today. Snow is a lot like sex, you never know how long it’s going to last.

So I wrote part one (http://fisforr.com/2012/04/28/friday-sex-talk-2) of this quite a while ago now so I thought it was definitely time for part two. Last time, I wrote it because I’d catapulted myself into my dresser after tripping on my heels and had to get two stitches. The first thing I thought of to get the pain to go away was sex. Well today I looked outside and it was a world of white. The snow has hit the whole county and my friend turned to me and said, wow, imagine having sex on that right now. SO here are some more wonderful and weird reasons to throw your lover down and mount them.

So the first reason to have sex is because it’s snowing. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that that isn’t what everyone thinks of when it comes to snow. My own thoughts were 1. What can I use as a sledge? 2. Are there hills to sledge down in London? 3. Is sledging down the steps to the tube an acceptable thing? And then I went on to wondering if we had any carrots in so I could give the snowman an impressive nose. All the things a 22 year old should be considering. I think sex in the snow would be a bit cold. But if you like a frost bitten vagina and making sticky sex angels then go for it.

A bet can be a common reason to sleep with someone though probably not many people would think it. “I bet you this donut you wouldn’t sleep with her over there with the eye patch and the wooden leg.” And that’s just silly because then you get to have sex with a woman who may or may not be a pirate, and you get a donut. Winning.

Similar to bets are competitions amongst friends. And by friends I mean the going-out-and-having-20-jaigerbombs-but-normally-having-nothing-to-say-to-each-other friends. It will go something like, Who can pull the tallest girl here, who can pull the most girls here, who can pull a woman most likely to be a grandmother but still has it. That kind of thing.

Moving from the weird reasons. Kinda. Wanting to try new stuff out can initiate sex in many ways. Maybe you read fifty shades of shite, maybe you saw snow, maybe you listened to Tom Jones and wanted to be a sex bomb too.  All valid reasons to whip out the handcuffs, the earmuffs and the sexy fluff.

Drinking will make you want to take down someone’s pants. It’s just a known fact in life. This one I’ve mentioned before but in the winter weather there’s not much else to do apart from drinking. You drink because you can’t go out, you drink because you’re snowed out, or you drink so you’re not AS cold as you would be if you weren’t drinking. The problem is that drinking will make you horny, you’ll just be wearing so many clothes that you won’t be able to unbutton the thermal underwear and you’ll get stuck in your snood before anything happens.

A bad mood is an excellent reason for loving. But if the person is bad in bed then I wouldn’t suggest trying it as it will probably leave you in a worse mood and you’ll stomp around the house and take it out on the cat. If the other person is in a bad mood it’s good move to get naked. But again, don’t try this in the snow. Because one, the frost bite, and two, if you’re as pale and white as me, your girlfriend might not be able to actually find you.

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10 thoughts on “Friday Sex Talk

    Lacey said:
    January 18, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    this is very snow orientated, you sure you havnt had sex in the snow? lol

    Jack said:
    January 18, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    hahahahahah omg

    ayemiy said:
    January 18, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    ..may or may not be a pirate. PAHAHAHAHA.

    Laura H said:
    January 18, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    why is it that drinking ALWAYS makes you want to take down someones pants? I like your blog :)

    Bethany said:
    January 18, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    ugh the bets people make are horrible. and yet so true ! This is suchh a funny post though. All valid reasons to whip out the handcuffs, the earmuffs and the sexy fluff.

    Renae said:
    January 18, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    ” a frost bitter vagina” You need to get published. everything you do I laugh :)

    June said:
    January 18, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    so pale youl get lost in the snow. rofl. luv ur work xxx

    Fleur said:
    January 18, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    “buttoned therma underwear”? impressive…. :P

    facelikeafryingpan said:
    January 18, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    As a Canadian, if we didn’t have sex in the snow, we’d never procreate. And what is a sledge? Is it a toboggan? Here it is a type of hammer. I knew you didn’t want to ride a hammer to the tube (which I take it is the subway). We roll our toilet paper on tubes. Hard to believe we both speak English, isn’t it.

      effimai responded:
      January 19, 2013 at 4:30 pm

      Ha yes sledge is toboggan. Tube is subway. .Loo Roll is toilet paper. ;) And very true about the snow thing actually. Just in Britain if any snow comes down its chaos and everything shuts down and doesnt work. x

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