With the fight for gay marriage still happening all over the world, we’re hearing more and more that gay people choose to be gay. Which frustrates me more than having no chocolate in the house and makes me want to throw ketchup over the people who say it. They need to stop saying it. And get the scissors, and cut it the fuck out.
There are many theories as to why people are gay but a choice isn’t one of them. You think at fifteen, living in a small village in Wales I suddenly thought, you know what would make my life that bit much harder? Choosing to like girls. I was already GINGER and HAD BRACES. Why would I want to make my life more of living hell in school than it was already?
No theories have been proved one hundred per cent accurate. Some people think you’re born with that particular gene. The ‘homosexual gene.’ It’s something to do with exposure to higher than usual levels of oestrogen or testosterone in the womb when you’re about the size of a plum. This is meant to be a good indicator of where you’re going to fall on the gay scale.
But many other cases have shown this was untrue by showcasing twins where one is gay and the other isn’t. So if biology was behind all the pink and glitter then both twins should carry that gene. Another theory is that you become gay. So your lifestyle and your upbringing determines if you will be or not. A father who believed that his brother had ‘become’ homosexual because he had been allowed to play like a girl and had grown up without strong bonding with their father tried to make very sure that his son did not grow up gay. So he spent a lot of time with him and made sure that he only played ‘boy’ games with ‘boy’ toys. In spite of all this effort, the son also turned out to be gay. This wouldn’t make sense for me either as I had twenty eight barbies, a pink doll house and always wore dresses that I didn’t like to get dirty.
Alfred Kinsey did some research in the 1950s and determined that most individuals are not exclusively homosexual or heterosexual but fall somewhere in between the two. So the people that are charging at us with pointy sticks and banners that read ‘Homo sex is sin,’ may well have a crush on their next door neighbour Ronald.
This is where the phrase ‘Gay until graduation,’ comes from. Where girls and boys drink beer from their little paper cups and then think that they’ll try something different. Or they’ll wake up morning with a traffic cone on their head and no underwear on with their best friend. It can happen. I’m told. But these people often go back to what they know after college and live their hetro lives.
People can figure out their sexual orientation at different parts of their lives. Some will deny it, and be untrue to themselves because they don’t want to be an ‘outcast,’ or be any different. But then realize one day when they’re husband and two point four kids don’t suit them and they are wishing for a life full of cats. Some will take to being who they are a be very happy. It took me a little while, but after downing shots of tequila and sleeping with my boss, things didn’t seem so bad.
But the long winded point that I’m trying to make is that you don’t choose. You don’t wake up one morning and then say ‘Today is going to be a gay day,’ while eating your coco pops. How annoying corduroy-wearing-hairy-covered uneducated people don’t understand this is ridiculous beyond belief.