Flaws With Moving In

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Moving in together is that scary thing that lets be honest about it, lesbians are known for doing too soon in a relationship. But if you love your girlfriend and think it’s the right step to take, how do you know that you’ll be able to live together similtaniously, and that one of you won’t be hurling custard over the other’s head in a matter of hours because the lid was left off the marmite?

What a lot of people don’t consider, is that your space, your lovely looking-and-feeling-just-how-you-want–it space is now ‘our’ space. You have to be prepared for this. And it’s probably things you haven’t even considered. Like now there will be someone in your bathroom just at the time you need to go, and if you’re not the type of girl to squat behind a lamppost you’re going to have to learn to be patient. That goes for TV time, singing-Rhianna-in-the shower time and lie in time too.

There will be things you don’t know about each other. Things you will only find out once you live under the same roof. Maybe your girlfried has 287 beanie babies from the nineties and likes to kiss each one at 3pm every day, or she might eat deep fried otter with gravy as a treat on her birthday. Expect the worst and then you will be prepared.

Melanie, 23 and Clare, 25 moved in together last month into Mel’s one bed flat in London.

“Mel’s really grumpy in the morning. Like really really grumpy. I never realised properly until I tried to get her up for work.She just doesn’t wake up! and then she slams about the place. In the evening though she’s a lovely person!”

“Clare has boxes of childhood things stored here there and everywhere. Like she doesn’t even need this stuff anymore, but no I can’t store my winter clothes because she needs the four thousand boxes of crap!”

There’s more to consider too. Do you move into her house or yours? Or do you opt to get a brand spanking new one so you can spend your nights in a spanking new bedroom possibly spanking each other? If you don’t fancy living in her bright orange house with the smell you can’t put your finger on and she doesn’t fancy living in your cath-kitson-has-thrown-up pink paradise then maybe getting a new place together and taking a trip to good old Ikea together is the best way to do it.

Jane, 29 and Chris, 36 decided on getting a new place together and bought a house in Glasgow.

“We needed a new place, didn’t want all the memories of past relationships, and everything else about the past invading our space, I wanted me and Chris to start afresh in our own brand new home,”

“What she means is that she didn’t want her crazy exes knowing where we live! No, I think it’s important, if it’s possible to get an ‘our’ place. I don’t think I’d feel at home if I moved in with Jane and she wouldn’t like me moving her stuff around. This way, it works for both of us,”

I think it’s important to remember that moving in together is more than just having the girlfriend there all the time. The things you don’t want her to see (putting on veruca cream, putting rollers in your hair to pretend you have natural curls and waxing your bits) become something she has to be ok with. And if  you’re ok with giving up your ‘single,’ friends nights, your greys anatomy box set-drinking-wine-from-the-bottle-face-mask days, and your using-all-the-water-long-indulgent baths, or you’re ok with sharing them, then moving in can be the next step.

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13 thoughts on “Flaws With Moving In

    Mariana Arnett said:
    June 12, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Uhm, yeah. I’m a fan of “let’s move in next door to eachother” for exactly the reasons you so eloquently described. Living within close range of eachother, you can get together for movie nights, decide on “my patio or yours” for after work relaxation, you can scream over the fence “ack! come kill this giant spider that’s on the ceiling above my bed”, without giving up bathroom time and living in fear that you’ll be shot every morning when the grumpy one wakes up and isn’t at her best. You can get your bike and ting, ting the tiny bell in front of her house to get her to come out and join you. When mad lust visits, it’s just a short crawl into her bed. After you’ve had your fill of companionship, you can then retreat to the comfortable confines of your own space.

      effimai responded:
      June 12, 2012 at 7:11 pm

      Omg that is is a brilliant idea!! why dont ALL people do this?? his and hers houses? or hers and hers houses of course. I think you should start this business :D x

        Mariana Arnett said:
        June 12, 2012 at 11:21 pm

        Why thank you, my dear. I do believe that regardless of sexuality, on average, marriages would last a lot longer if people had their own quarters. Even if it is just one house with a wall that divides two mirror image floor plans. That wall could be equipped with one of those doors that hotels have, that can be opened to combine the spaces. With deadbolts on each side, each with a different key. That way, when you feel you could be dangerous, you could yell through the closed door “I’m locking you out FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!” I see it in period dramas. Proper ladies always had their own quarters. I see the sense of it, and maybe, effimai, you and I can bring it back into fashion.

          Jenny said:
          June 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

          This is such an amazing idea. why is no one doing this!!!

    Ladyluck said:
    June 12, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Maybe your girlfried has 287 beanie babies from the nineties and likes to kiss each one at 3pm every day, or she might eat deep fried otter with gravy as a treat on her birthday. – - – you have a warped imagination…..or a warped life :D Good post!

    Yasmin said:
    June 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    HAHAHAHAAHA oh dear.

    Jade Jones said:
    June 12, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    This is so true. And so funny :-)

    Mike Martinez said:
    June 13, 2012 at 1:19 am

    I would never consider seriously committing to anyone for a LTR without first living with them for at least a year. Oh wait, can a gay GUY even comment on this blog? Lol. Great blog!

    Heather said:
    June 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Don’t take my ‘greys anatomy box set-drinking-wine-from-the-bottle-face-mask days’… hehehe. Love the visual.

    Tom said:
    June 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    I would never consider seriously committing to anyone for a LTR without first living with them for at least a year. Oh wait, can a gay GUY even comment on this blog? Lol. Great blog! — Ha I comment on this blog all the time! Effi’s crazy life makes me think of my own as some what normal :-)

    Jem said:
    June 14, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    I havent been on here for a while there’s loads of new stuff! This one is good.

    A said:
    June 15, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Love it :) Just moved in with my girlfriend of almost a year and we’re going through some of this. We were really proud of not moving in together immediately, though! It just so happened that my lease ended and I liked her bed. :)

      effimai responded:
      June 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm

      See thats a perfect reason to do it. Ha I think everyone goes through it and then you get into the rythym of it all. E x

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