Moving in together is that scary thing that lets be honest about it, lesbians are known for doing too soon in a relationship. But if you love your girlfriend and think it’s the right step to take, how do you know that you’ll be able to live together similtaniously, and that one of you won’t be hurling custard over the other’s head in a matter of hours because the lid was left off the marmite?
What a lot of people don’t consider, is that your space, your lovely looking-and-feeling-just-how-you-want–it space is now ‘our’ space. You have to be prepared for this. And it’s probably things you haven’t even considered. Like now there will be someone in your bathroom just at the time you need to go, and if you’re not the type of girl to squat behind a lamppost you’re going to have to learn to be patient. That goes for TV time, singing-Rhianna-in-the shower time and lie in time too.
There will be things you don’t know about each other. Things you will only find out once you live under the same roof. Maybe your girlfried has 287 beanie babies from the nineties and likes to kiss each one at 3pm every day, or she might eat deep fried otter with gravy as a treat on her birthday. Expect the worst and then you will be prepared.
Melanie, 23 and Clare, 25 moved in together last month into Mel’s one bed flat in London.
“Mel’s really grumpy in the morning. Like really really grumpy. I never realised properly until I tried to get her up for work.She just doesn’t wake up! and then she slams about the place. In the evening though she’s a lovely person!”
“Clare has boxes of childhood things stored here there and everywhere. Like she doesn’t even need this stuff anymore, but no I can’t store my winter clothes because she needs the four thousand boxes of crap!”
There’s more to consider too. Do you move into her house or yours? Or do you opt to get a brand spanking new one so you can spend your nights in a spanking new bedroom possibly spanking each other? If you don’t fancy living in her bright orange house with the smell you can’t put your finger on and she doesn’t fancy living in your cath-kitson-has-thrown-up pink paradise then maybe getting a new place together and taking a trip to good old Ikea together is the best way to do it.
Jane, 29 and Chris, 36 decided on getting a new place together and bought a house in Glasgow.
“We needed a new place, didn’t want all the memories of past relationships, and everything else about the past invading our space, I wanted me and Chris to start afresh in our own brand new home,”
“What she means is that she didn’t want her crazy exes knowing where we live! No, I think it’s important, if it’s possible to get an ‘our’ place. I don’t think I’d feel at home if I moved in with Jane and she wouldn’t like me moving her stuff around. This way, it works for both of us,”
I think it’s important to remember that moving in together is more than just having the girlfriend there all the time. The things you don’t want her to see (putting on veruca cream, putting rollers in your hair to pretend you have natural curls and waxing your bits) become something she has to be ok with. And if you’re ok with giving up your ‘single,’ friends nights, your greys anatomy box set-drinking-wine-from-the-bottle-face-mask days, and your using-all-the-water-long-indulgent baths, or you’re ok with sharing them, then moving in can be the next step.